Wednesday, May 19, 2010

I'm Not Saying He Should Have Hit Her...But I Understand

Let me first say that I am in no way promoting the abuse of women, or men for that fact. This is not about passing judgement...i'm just telling a story.

A true story in fact. Let me paint the's late on a Saturday night. The boyfriend arrives home, intoxicated and in a rather bad mood. Moments after he enters his home shouts of profanity and anger fill the house. He's screaming accusations of infidelity at his girlfriend...she denies.

The door opens, an older gentlemen quickly leaves the premises and drives off into the night. The yelling continues growing louder and louder. Soon screams by the women can be heard, more accusations, infidelity, theft, betrayal all igniting more rage from within the boyfriend. Fearful for the women's safety, nearby neighbors call the police who arrive shortly.

The man escapes out of the back before the cops notice. He sneaks around the front and flees on foot. The police chase him down and arrest him. Upon bringing him back to the residence, the woman can be seen with a blackened eye and drying tears. The boyfriend is arrested and the night ends.

Pretty clear right? Well I was told that I was unsympathetic because I did not feel sorry for the woman. After all she chose this gem of a man and put herself in a rather unsafe situation. (personal responsibility) I was viewed as heartless, but I just knew the whole story. Let's see where you stand.

The girlfriend lived alone. After losing her job she moved in the man she had been dating (to help with the bills) he thought out of love. Neither worked, he collected a state issued check. He would sign the check over to her to pay bills, and never saw a dime of it. Though he gave her every penny, it wasn't enough to cover all of the expenses. So the girlfriend found herself a "friend" to help make up the difference.

The "friend", we'll call him Bob, an old co-worker, older, way older and friendly. He was known to frequent the house when the boyfriend was away. On this particular evening the boyfriend came home to find his girlfriend and Bob sitting rather closely on the couch. True the boyfriend had been drinking, but was clear eyed enough to see what was going on.

Quickly enraged, Bob got the hell out of Dodge leaving the girlfriend to plead her case. The boyfriend accused her of cheating, then found an article of mens clothing that wasn't his but remarkably was in Bob's size. In the heat of the moment, he struck her. Now I believe he is 100% responsible for his actions, let's just look at the facts though.

She was taking all of his money and sleeping with another man for cash. She played with his heart and emotions leading him to believe they were living together to solidify their relationship when really it was a finacial move. Then he caught them together in the home HE was paying for. I'm not saying he should have hit her...but I understand.

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