Friday, July 2, 2010

A Cold Cup of Coffee: Heart vs Ego

This is a special edition of A Moment With Morris. This is part of an ongoing series I affectionately titled "A Cold Cup of Coffee". Bringing you real life without the sweeteners, a cold and sometimes bitter, but always necessary sip of reality. This time we're looking at a thing called "love"...or is it?

Often we put the label of love on things we do or feel, but does it belong there? How many of us get into relationships and become disconnected, then after it fails, we find ourselves wishing it was back or protesting our love? Usually after the other one has ended it or moved on. When we were in it, we wanted nothing but to be out, to be done with our partner, to be free. Now it's over, and we're heartbroken? Ha!

No we're not...no you're not. During the course of the relationship we could visualize the happy dance we would do if they would just leave, and now we're drowning in our tears, with "No ordinary love" on repeat? The reality is, it's not love. It's not the loss of that special someone, our soul mate...it's the fact that they no longer desire us.

So often we try to link that pain or hurt to a lost love when really it's just a bruised ego. What do you mean you don't want "me"? We didn't care that the relationship failed, that's why we didn't call, come home, or stay faithful. It's just that sting of knowing that they don't want us. The nerve. After all we've done for them..?

It's ok. We want to justify that feeling with something a little less conceded, but if we're not going to honest with the public, let's at least be real with ourselves. No they don't want us...but we don't want them. Hell we even did that happy dance when they drove away.

Oh that ego, he's a s.o.b! We're all guilty of this, no one wants to be rejected. We've all had a job we couldn't stand, but nothing would sting more than to be fired the day before we were going to quit. Just try to keep that in mind. So before you grab the vodka and slip into a Sade coma...just remember the relationship as a whole, then stop! Hammer time!

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