Thursday, September 16, 2010

A Cold Cup Of Coffee: Haters

This is a special edition of A Moment With Morris. This is part of an ongoing series I affectionately titled "A Cold Cup of Coffee". Bringing you real life without the sweeteners, a cold and sometimes bitter, but always necessary sip of reality. This time we're looking at, "Haters".

As children, we were all told that we could be whatever we wanted to be. We were encouraged to be police officers, fire fighters, astronauts or even president. As we get older we begin to see that life isn’t always as optimistic. Many of us try school (college/vocational) usually not with success, we work jobs we can’t stand, and end up with someone that isn’t our first choice…we settle.

We fall into this mediocre state of existence. How did we get here? Is this it? There is a reason why drugs and alcohol are at an all time high in this country, most people are unhappy. So many feel like they got a raw deal in this life, were born under a bad sign or just never had a chance. Those pictures of families running in the park, pushing kids in swings, couples in love or career power players…why them? Why not you?

If you’ve ever thought this, if you’ve ever looked in the mirror and dropped your head at the sight of the person you’ve become. If you stare at your significant other the same way you see the job you wish would blow up over the weekend, if you have ever found yourself getting angry at the sight of successful, happy people…you are a hater.

Yes, it’s true. I know it’s a shock, you didn’t see it coming, and why would you? No one plans on being a hater, it creeps up on you. A series of unsuccessful life decisions and outcomes slowly puts you on the pathway to hating.

Don’t get me wrong, being a hater isn’t about anger. It’s about perception, attitude, and outlook. It’s about the thoughts that cross your mind; when you and your significant other are out, that feeling you get, when you pass a couple looking and doing better than you. It’s when you pull up at the light and glance over your shoulder at the people in the nicer car passionately singing to their favorite song. Even as simple as that sensation you feel when you pass a group of well behaved children, meanwhile yours just knocked something off the shelf in the grocery store. All these things are stepping stones, building blocks.

You know you have hate in your heart, when seeing romantic public displays of affection piss you off. When you believe that all fit people just had to have “something done”. Even down to, if asked, you say that your current career status is the result of “politics”. Hater, thy name is, YOU!

Now that we’ve established that you are indeed a hater, it’s time to slowly sip this cold cup of truth. Darwinism is real. Much like in the animal kingdom, natural selection carries over into the human race. Everyone can’t be king of the jungle or queen of the colony. We need some role players. We need some drones. Sorry to break it to you…you’re a drone.

That’s a hard pill to swallow. Take a minute, I’ll wait…look I know parents don’t prepare us for that. How could they? Why would they? No parent looks down at their baby and thinks, 2nd string. It’s true. Some of us are born with will, drive, determination and talent. Some of us have all the tools we just lack motivation. Some of us have persistence and drive and overcome by sheer hustle. But for some, it’s a lose-lose. Like the wounded gazelle, fate has not dealt them a winning hand.

I am a firm believer in personal responsibility. In no way am I saying it’s alright to concede failure. I’m merely pointing out the possibility that your string of losses and misgivings may boil down to nothing more than you were already predisposed to meager results. That being said, that doesn’t mean you have to hate. Hating is a choice. Take control of your individual situation. How green your neighbor’s grass is, has nothing to do with your yard. Maximize your own potential and stay in your lane.

Life is about knowing your role and playing your position. In this movie, you are not the star, not even a supporting actor…really, you’re just an extra…but make the most out of being “man/woman in diner”. Don't worry about how many lines their getting, just remember yours. Like I said, it’s about perception, attitude, and outlook.

You may not be a corporate CEO, but a job at McDonald’s comes with all the fries you can eat. You may not have a new car, but riding the bus gives you the opportunity to meet new people every day. Your mate may not be Will Smith or Jennifer Lopez, but they love you. Hating is never acceptable. Be not only content, but proud of the life and blessings you have been given. So as you step on to the bus and find yourself cutting a hard look to the couple driving by in the convertible, remember…there’s someone walking, giving that same look to you.

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