If you ask my friends what I’m like, depending on which one you ask, you will get a wide range of responses. Some of my friends will tell you that I’m funny, some will say I’m quiet, others will say I never shut up, and of course the ever popular “asshole” will be thrown in from time to time…all true. The fact is, I have many different sides to my personality, like everyone else.
We are all complex creatures, capable of a rainbow of thoughts and emotions. But for some reason we like to condense and limit who we are down to a word or two. Why? Why are we not allowed to be more than 1 dimensional?
Often times as men, we’re quick to blame and mock women for being emotional. We act as if they should be faulted for having depth, for being multifaceted, for being more than 1 dimensional. Now I’m not claiming that I haven’t been guilty of this myself. I have, in typical male fashion, made my jokes and comments about how women are “all over the place”. Even to the point of calling them “crazy”, but deep down I know it’s because women excel in an area, we men do not…emotional expression.
Women are much more connected emotionally, and to our sometimes dismay, this can prove to be difficult for us men to handle. We can multi-task on the job, do countless equations in our head, even deal with grueling strenuous labor, but something about all that “emotion” just gets us. Not that we don’t have them, we just don’t deal with them in the same way.
As men, we’re given a pass on; anger, frustration, and disappointment, but aside from that we need to be all smiles. Women get to run the table on how they feel. Men do get thrown a few bones. We get; pride, ego, and all other self serving sins to play with, and that’s okay.
If we’re going to claim “dominance” and be these pillars of strength, responsibility and un-yielding structure, then we need to take the good with the bad. My note to you ladies; just because we don’t get the pass on emotions, don’t assume that we don’t have them. Men are capable of feeling everything you feel, we just choose not to express or recognize it. The sooner you grasp that one, the better equipped you’ll be to deal with us.
As women get older, the smart ones pick this up. That’s why the best advice a young man can get, is from an older woman. A lot of you younger ladies are still trying to figure that one out.
I’m simply saying that as a man, I’ve come to learn and “feel” the whole emotional spectrum from passion to pain. It is part of what has made me who I am. So gentlemen, being able to identify feelings will only make you a better man, for you, and for whatever woman you decide to be with. Once you can identify it, you then can understand, control, and deal with it.
So guys remember…you CAN feel…it’s alright…just none of that crying mess.
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