Sunday, December 26, 2010

A Cold Cup Of Coffee: Keeping It Real

This is a special edition of A Moment With Morris. This is part of an ongoing series I affectionately titled "A Cold Cup of Coffee". Bringing you real life without the sweeteners, a cold and sometimes bitter, but always necessary sip of reality. This time we're looking at, “keeping it real”.

Keeping it real…such a common, overused, hardly understood, and seldom practiced concept. For most, “keeping it real” is just a phrase used in rap songs, but it is so much more.

Keeping it real, isn’t about being tough in the streets, it’s about being honest with yourself and those around you. Many of us are afraid to be ourselves, fearful that we may alienate ourselves from the people we care about by saying what we truly feel and think. That’s not limited to our friends, or co-workers, but our siblings, parents, grandparents, even our children.

How can we have an honest relationship with anyone, if we can’t be open with who and what we are? And why hide it? We are who we are. Every time I turn on the television I see the same cookie-cutter profile of what men and women should look like and how we should act. Says who?

It just seems to me that everyone is so quick to allow someone else to dictate how they should be, because no one wants the responsibility or the backlash of being themselves. So I feel it’s time to pour an ice cold cup of reality…

Parents, some of you messed up. Your kids aren’t right, and by kids I mean offspring not just children. More than just a few of you have dropped the ball. Your children aren’t self-sufficient or independent…and that is your fault. I don’t care how close you are, or how many times a week they call you. If they can’t hold their own and at least maintain some degree of stability…you FAILED as a parent. Swish that one around for a moment first before you swallow.

Which brings us to my next point, some of us have questionable parents. Hey no one is perfect, so why did/do we expect our parents to be? Some of our parents didn’t properly prepare us for life and how to not only deal, but conquer. But regardless of not getting an adequate base, if you’re a grown man or woman and cannot take care of yourself it is YOUR responsibility to catch up.

Maybe you never got over your brother/sister picking on you as a child or always breaking your stuff. Maybe it bothers you still to this day, (a little petty), but if you don’t like them, be real. There’s no law that says siblings have to be friends. If you never got over them smashing your favorite Transformer or melting down Barbie, make it known. Keeping it in will only manifest itself into forms of passive/aggressive behavior. You’ll never like their mac & cheese or you’ll always have something to do when they call. Put it out there, be real and be done. You may even find, by expressing it, you get over it.

Some of our lack of truth is expressed in our behavior, be yourself. If you’re introverted and like to read silently that’s fine. Maybe you don’t want to go out clubbing or binge drinking at the bar, who says you have to? Maybe you want to put on some Depeche Mode, paint your nails black and get your “Twilight” on…go ahead. My point is…be yourself.

If you’re loud and goofy, stuck up and distant, brash and abrasive, wild and crazy, whatever, just be who you are. By being yourself you’ll weed out those who judge you or don’t click with who you truly are. You’ll find that everyone left, will be around for quite a while. You’ll develop better relationships and feel better about yourself.

This comes from some of the things I see on a rather consistent basis. People unhappy because they’re not themselves, they pretend and then wonder why they don’t have genuine relationships. Relationship can’t be real, if you’re not.

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