Thursday, October 20, 2011

Don't Lock Me Out!

What comes to mind when you hear the names Michael Jordan, Derek Jeter, Kobe Bryant, Alex Rodriguez, Tom Brady, or Aaron Rodgers? Whatever the image, the point is that these names instantly register in your mind. Sports are so big and influential in this country and all over the world that we can all associate an idea, thought or memory to some sports figure or experience.

This year however professional sports, has taken quite a blow. First there was the NFL lockout; a period of time when the owners and the players association could not agree on terms for their new collective bargaining agreement. This resulted in a period of no signings, trades, or even practices by the teams until an agreement was made. Because of this teams were left without the full schedule to prepare their players for this season and some have gone to say that it is a cause for many of the early season injuries. The NFL was able to get it together and now the season is in full swing.

Now it’s the NBA’s turn. They are faced with the same dilemma; two sides unable to come to a mutual understanding resulting in a lockout in professional basketball. The difference is, there is no season currently. Pre-season has been cancelled and NBA commissioner David Stern has said that they are hoping for a season by Christmas but few believe that is likely. Players and the owners are at a stalemate on terms and there doesn’t seem to be any budging.

NBA players have been looking for alternative ways to spend their time with some going overseas to play, some looking into other sports, and some just enjoying the extended vacation. Players stand to lose millions in salaries and endorsements without a season, if you’re Kobe or LeBron they can lose anywhere near 10 million dollars for the year. Granted they won’t go hungry, but that’s still a lot of money. If you’re one of the bench stars of your team, you can find yourself in real trouble.

Delonte West of “sleeping with LeBron’s mom fame”…allegedly, has recently begun working at his local Home Depot.

With all of the back and forth between the players and the owners I think sight of the true victims has been lost…the fans? No. The groupies!

How can they neglect the needs of a nation full of willing, ambitious, high heeled aspiring baby mamas? City to city and state to state from Sacramento to Miami, Portland to Boston there are thousands nay I say millions of auditioning women looking to be stars on the next “Basketball Wives of…”

How can the league be so selfish? Don’t they realize the impact to the “jump off” economy that not having a season will have? What about all of the “hush money” that won’t be received for late night activities? What about all of the “main stages” that won’t be “raining”? How can they do this and still sleep at night?

What about the social ramifications? A “Ratchet” without an NBA All-Star Weekend is like a kid without Christmas! Who will be there to sneak into player’s hotel rooms at midnight…their wives? What about the impact on “regular” people? Don’t they know about all of the lonely men there will be out there? Have they forgotten about all of the guys who go out to where the players are and exercise their “scavenger game”? And let’s not forget about the unsung heroes… what of the “professional homeboys”? Who will be there to bring the car around and name drop to get girls back to the house? What will they do? Get jobs? *Whistle blows* C’mon!

The NBA needs to get it together. They need hash this out before the people lose interest and they can’t get the fans back. It’s hard enough with the current economy to spend so much on tickets and merchandise now, leaving a bad taste in the public’s mouth may lead to even bigger financial problems for the league in the future.

We all need to come back to 1 and remember why we fell in love with the game; the money, shoes, posters, video games, hats, jerseys, and hoes…

NBA action…it’s fantastic!

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Thursday, October 13, 2011

Give Me 10: 10 Signs That...IT'S YOU!

Give me 10: 10 reasons, examples or indicators of a certain behavior. Take the time to use the checklist…you may need to check yourself. Today‘s list: 10 signs that…IT’S YOU!

10# You’ve been fired from every job you’ve ever had.

9# Everyone else always has “bad cell phone reception”.

8# You only have 1 night stands.

7# You never have help moving.

6# You are everyone’s first case of domestic violence.

5# You’re on the receiving end of a drunken rant & they’re on their “first” beer.

4# After thousands of dollars and countless hours of training the dog continues to pee on just your clothes.

3# You exchange Facebook messages but they never add you as a friend.

2# Your pets are on suicide watch.

…and the 1# sign that IT’S YOU…

Your mother has her tubes tied.

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Wednesday, October 5, 2011

The Price Is Right

“Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy”

-Dr. Philip McGraw

From an early age we’re taught as young boys and girls to seek out the correct answer. Even before preschool we’re on this quest to figure things out and understand how “our” world works. Year after year in school and with an endless supply of real life situations, we’re thrown an infinite number of opportunities to find the “answers” of life. Now that’s all fine and dandy in the classroom even in the workplace, but in a relationship being correct doesn’t always equal the best answer.

Far too often we, men and women, suffer from what I like to call “Be-right-itis”. This is the disease of having to be right at all costs. Symptoms include; always having to have the last word, the correcting of his/her significant other in any situation or company, the inability to move on in a subject until the acknowledgement of being correct has been made and so on. If left untreated it can result in the alienation from friends and family, termination from work as well as an inability to sustain relationships. Yes Berightitis has taken the lives and livelihoods of millions. This subtle and silent killer can lay dormant in the body for years but once activated there is virtually no stopping it.

In relationships it’s important to remember that it’s not a tit for tat situation. What one person needs and wants doesn’t necessarily apply to the other so “an eye for an eye” logic doesn’t apply. An example; when a man returns home from work in most cases the best thing you can do for him ladies is leave him alone! Men need decompression time before they’re ready to make the adjustment to being home. Bills, what happened today, even dinner plans should all be put on hold for the first 20-30 minutes upon his arrival. The reason is that men need to gradually settle in, if this isn’t done he will bring whatever issues the day has had for him into the relationship and home. Now the other side to this is men won’t give you that same grace period. If your man is in your face the second you walk in the door because he wants your attention…let him! Men are driven by the ego turn him away at 5pm and good luck getting his attention for the rest of the week. Pride will stop him from “putting himself out there” again and there will be distance and silence which is the last thing you want. True you may need that same time to gather yourself and your feelings maybe hurt when he turns from you as well but that’s a pill you have to swallow. Yes you’re right to make your case the question however is who will be more affected by the distance? Women are better at the emotional bounce back. He can make up for it during the rest of the night by paying you enough attention, you most likely cannot. Food and sex may pacify him, good luck though getting that same attention when you come home tomorrow. No it’s not fair…but so what.

Men know how much women NEED to talk. We know that you have to give every emotional detail to every story of every event that happened in your day. We know that to keep a happy home and to have an engaging relationship we have to sit through every unfunny, uninteresting, dragged out, overcomplicated story you want to share. We know that conversation and active listening makes you feel validated and important. It gives value to your feelings and you feel closer to us when you share. Yes we get it yes we understand it we just don’t feel the same way. Unless it’s a subject we’re really into, or it gives us an opportunity to showcase what we know, men don’t really want to talk. The smart ones do it to keep the peace, but deep down inside we’re all thinking, “Why can’t you be like us?” Because you’re not men! You’re women and that’s how you’re wired. Does that mean we have to sit through conversations we don’t care about? Yes. Does it matter if we don’t do it to you? No.

Berightitis affects the male ego and the female self esteem areas of the body. In men, a woman who has to be right will force the issue to make her point. All men’s egos aren’t affected by compliments however they usually are by insults. Women who have to stress the notion that he is wrong and relentlessly push the issue to prove they’re correct will all but invite their man to leave them. He may not walk out on you immediately but a man will search out a woman for whom he feels he can build with, if you’re chipping away at him…the search will continue. As for women, if their man has to insist upon being right at all costs the result is usually a decrease in how she feels about herself with him. Women typically look to their man as a gauge for their place. She will define her worth in respects to her value to him. Keep putting her down or insisting on being right and her feelings towards you will change. The less valued she feels with you the more opportunities for her to feel valued by someone else.

We have to come to terms and accept the fact that we have different needs. Is it fair that the man is the one who gets up at 3 a.m. to investigate the strange noise downstairs? No, but we do it. The argument of “I checked the last time” won’t hold up as reason to send her into the backyard in the dead of night if something bad happens to her. Just as a woman being home with the children fulfilling the roles of; mother, counselor, nurse, teacher, chef, janitor etc never takes precedence over the man’s needs when he comes home from his 9 to 5. No it’s not fair…it’s life. You can argue your position as valid as it may be, it will just more likely than not keep you from where you ultimately want to be…happy.

Berightitis can prevent the ability to forgive. Some people suffer from such extreme cases that they can never move on and allow the relationship to grow because they’re stuck waiting on their gold star and imaginary accolades. If they don’t feel they’ve been fully acknowledged family ties can un-tether, friendships can be stressed and relationships can end. Why? Is it so important to prove we’re right? Is there really this universal scorecard that tallies up when we die and can get us a better seat in heaven?

So many of us suffer from this affliction, we let it send us into fevers and panic attacks. We need to learn to take a step back and not be so focused on making our point and being correct, and enjoy the lives and relationships we’ve been fortunate enough to be exposed to. Pick your battles.

For those who can’t beat this disease be advised, if you find that you have to always be right…you might get left.

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