Tuesday, June 26, 2012

A Cold Cup Of Coffee: Ratchet vs Righteous

This is a special edition of A Moment With Morris. This is part of an ongoing series I affectionately titled "A Cold Cup of Coffee". Bringing you real life without the sweeteners, a cold and sometimes bitter, but always necessary sip of reality. This time we're looking at, “Ratchet versus Righteous”.

Now in previous “Moments” the battle of Manhood vs. Bitchassness has been addressed. The struggle for control over the next generation of males on this planet. Responsibility, education, determination is up against whining, unmotivated, entitlement. As the war rages on a new battle has arose, and this time it’s women’s turn to take up arms!

Where it was once all quiet on the Woman front, now looks like Normandy! Who’s pitted against one another you might ask..? Righteous practices and morals of the past are engaged in battle with this “bottom bitch” Ratchet behavior of the future. (See “Pimps Up, Love Down”) Just as men are in the midst of our battle to save Manhood, you ladies have been called upon to step up and fight for the preservation and appreciation of women.

Now some of you may be unfamiliar with “Ratchet” behavior, so here’s a quick tutorial:

Here are a few signs to let you know if you’re “Ratchet”:

If you’ve ever been in a fight…at a daycare center…

If you’ve ever worn a leopard print cat suit…to church…

If there are more colors in your hair than in a pack of “Skittles” yet none of them are your natural color…

If you’ve ever had multiple “one night stands” in the SAME night…

If you’ve ever had your baby dancing like he OR she is auditioning for “Twerk Team 2025”…

Now that we’re caught up…

Also don’t get me wrong when I refer to “Team Righteous”. That doesn’t mean I’m talking about just the holiest, sanctified chaste ladies of the Lord, I just mean the ones that have basic morality down and don’t exhibit extreme levels of “hoe-ish” behavior. These women aren’t perfect, but they know how to properly conduct themselves.

We good? Ok…

“Ratchet” may be a newer term but their mission is old. In the past we’ve called them; loose, hoes, hoochies, floosies, tramps, whores & a series of other not so friendly names. If we’ve had these terms forever what’s changed you may ask? Ratchets much like Bitchassness has had the luxury of no resistance. Quality women have stepped aside to live their own lives and didn’t bother to look back to help guide the next wave of women behind them. Claire Huxtable has been replaced by Kim Kardashian as tv’s female influence,. Now that we’re a couple of generations deep in this b.s. and nonsense the little girls of today don’t think anything’s wrong.

These “women” and much like their behavior I use the term loosely, have infiltrated almost every level of our society. These “For The Love Of Real Basketball Ratchet Housewives In Jersey” have put their stamp on everything! I’m seeing little girls walking down the street looking like they’re “walking the streets”. This goes so far beyond just hoe-ish tendencies. True, hoes have always had their place in our society, but you could shame a hoe! Ratchets do their dirt in the light! They thrive on it! They’re like mutant cockroaches!

Let’s take it back to the old days, keeping it real, Elizabeth Taylor, Joan Crawford, Marilyn Monroe, Billie Holiday, Lena Horne, Diana Ross & more all exhibited Ratchet-like behavior during their time and we cheered them. The difference is they knew how to reel it in. They knew the proper way to behave and when to wild out. Today’s little girls aren’t getting enough of that necessary foundation. They don’t know the difference…and they don’t care.

Ladies we need your help. We need you to help smack some of these little girls back in line. Snatch ‘em up by their multi-colored extensions, take a damp towel to that 2 pounds of make up and tell them to put some clothes on!

Men a lot of this is our fault. Too much Bitchassness has led to not enough men being REAL fathers to their daughters. By not being there and letting her know she’s pretty and valued these little girls are running to guys in skinny jeans for validation…skinny jeans!

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, we are at war! Ratchets and Bitchassness need to fear us like roaches do “Raid!“ Ladies and gentlemen batten down the hatches…

And in the words of the great Bette Davis…

“Fasten your seatbelts, It’s going to be a bumpy night.”

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Thursday, June 21, 2012

A Different World

“Back in the day“…as we get older so many of us find ourselves uttering that phrase. We think back to an earlier part of our life to when it all seemed to be so much more fun, safe, simple or just made more sense. Often we look back at our clothes, movies, and music as a reminder of how it used to be.

Recently I saw an old episode of a show that I loved watching when I was young… “A Different World”. It was a spin-off to the highly popular “Cosby Show”. Originally it was based around one of the older daughters “Denise Huxtable” and her first years away at college. Though the show grew into so much more; following the lives of other students after she left, starring a lot of actors & actresses that went on to have very successful careers, the part that stuck with me while watching this throwback to rayon shirts & flat top hair cuts was the theme song.

“I know my parents love me,
Stand behind me come what may.
I know now that I'm ready,
Because I finally heard them say
It's a different world from where you come from...”

It was so simple but real. When the show came on back in the late 80’s early 90’s the theme song was just an alarm to let me know it was on, but listening to it now I found myself thinking, “why am I not hearing this message anymore?”

“Here's a chance to make it,
If we focus on our goals.
If you dish it we can take it,
Just remember you've been told
It's a different world from where you come from…”

In this age of rampant running entitlement and coddling of children until they are nowhere near prepared for the real world, where is this message? Yes my parents love me. Yes they stand behind me. It will be hard but they’ve prepared me for life. It’s not going to be the same when I leave home, but that’s okay. If I stay focused, if I work hard I can make it. What happened?

I know television images changed after Cosby and the Coogi sweaters left, but can we please inject some of this back into the mindsets of not only these kids but their parents? Let these kids know there is no “Jordan Fairy” that drops off free $150 shoes while they sleep. “Swag” is not a marketable job skill, and no one is going to pay you to be cute unless it’s for a set hourly rate with “extras” or involves “clear heels”. Raise them, teach them well, then push these little birds out the nest and trust in the job you spent nearly 2 decades working at.

Back in the day…

As much as I would love to take things back to a little more interactive parenting, family togetherness, & a pair of flip-top glasses…maybe it’s me that has to realize…

“It’s a different world from where you come from.”



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Sunday, June 10, 2012

Please No More Donations!

Father's Day is a celebration honoring fathers and celebrating fatherhood, paternal bonds, and the influence of fathers in society…

Every year the shopping malls are flooded with moms and children looking for every wallet, watch, cologne, tie, and bbq grill accessories they can find to show tribute to the men in their lives…Dad. Yes dear old Dad gets his props once a year. Being a Father is in so many ways a thankless job. That’s why taking the time to acknowledge him is so important.

We all know Father’s Day is completely eclipsed by Mother’s Day. Mom gets flowers, candy, dinner, etc…Dad gets a handmade ashtray. But it’s good. A man knows his role and responsibility isn’t for personal acclaim. His rewards come in the fruits of his labor; a happy wife, successful children and a loving home. Fathers do their best and then some. Work the long hours, sacrifice their own health and well being all in the name of love for the family they helped create. So for all the Fathers out there thank you. But this is where we part ways…

I’m now talking to the donors…oh yes YOU, the dreaded sperm donors. Out here giving it away like ketchup packets at McDonald’s. You donors of this planet out here on a mission to procreate like bees pollinate. Buzzing from flower to flower, planting your seed, getting some honey and bouncing. You donors are the thorns in our sides, the ants at our picnics, the rain on our parades. Your exploits leave a trail of emotional destruction, battered self esteem and all out Bitchassness!

Yes you donors that leave nothing but scorned women, bad blood and lost children in your wake. You! And if you think it’s not you here’s a quick check…

If you refuse to pay child support yet try to claim your kids on your taxes…

If every time you see your kids you have to remind them of the last time you’ve seen them…

If you have purchased a home, car, new clothes or went on any form of vacation before taking care of your children…

If you allow your new woman to in anyway prevent you from being a father…

If you have ever used the phrase, “she won’t let me see them…” but have never once filed any court papers or made a legal attempt to see your kids…

YOU AIN’T SH*T!

This isn’t “A Cold Cup Of Coffee” installment but this is just as real. There is no excuse you can provide that let’s you “off the hook” for not being an active or involved parent. Fathers set the tone and bench mark for their children’s feelings of self worth and self esteem…yes that’s Daddy! With or without you will dictate how your son OR daughter will feel about themselves. (See “Daddy Dearest”) You not being there drastically raises their probability for teen pregnancy, incarceration, and dropping out of school…and a Fatherless household is the 1# cause of Bitchassness! A disease plaguing the young men of our society. (See “A Cold Cup Of Coffee: Bitchassness“)

Next week is Father’s Day, a day to recognize the real men out there who do what they’re supposed to do. They own up to their responsibilities and do their best to help usher in a new generation of proud, strong, independent men and women.

As for you donors…if you’re out there just having fun, wrap it up! Stop planting seeds if you’re not prepared to do the work to help them grow.

Donors get your sh*t together!

MEN…

Happy Father’s Day!

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