Wednesday, November 28, 2012

The Struggle You Save...

“The more things change, the more they stay the same…”

Kids playing baseball in the street, riding bikes (to the end of the block), hopscotch, double dutch, red light green light, freeze tag, depending on your age this seems more or less a part of your childhood. Then again maybe you came from the X Box, Playstation, era. In any event, I’m talking about childhood.

That period of life where we grew up making our own friends, discovering who we were outside of just being someone’s child or sibling. This is when our individual personalities developed. Maybe we were leaders amongst our peers…or just wanted to be. Maybe we were the fastest or the strongest, possibly the shy or funny one. How we were on the playground in those early years helped to shape the men and women we grew to be. Some of those habits we developed then carried over into adulthood…good and bad.

Recently I was listening to old songs from the Motown era and one came on that stood out to me. Now Motown was home of a lot of great artists; Stevie Wonder, Smokey Robinson, Diana Ross & more. This song that jumped out at me was done by the Jackson 5. Yes Michael long before he was ’Moon walking” with “the glove” & the headlines that would follow.

He was a young boy on stage with his brothers singing grown lyrics from a young perspective. The song was, ‘The Love You Save”. I actually listened to the words of this song and couldn’t believe how many people I know that it applies to. Let’s take it back…

“When we played tag in grade school
You wanted to be it.
But chasing boys was just a fad
You crossed your heart you'd quit.

When we grew up you traded
Your promise for my ring
Now just like back to grade school
You're doing the same old thing!

Stop! The love you save may be your own!
Darling, take it slow
Or some day you'll be all alone.
You'd better stop the love you save may be your own!
Darling, look both ways before you cross me
You're headed for the danger zone.”

Now this part had me listening. We all know (or maybe your are) the girls that are all about the “Chase”. Playing “catch & release” with boys affections. The little girls that love being the flower amongst a swarm of bees. As fun as it may be in the beginning there are definite repercussions.

“I’m the one who loves you!
I’m the one you need!
Those other guys will put you down
As soon as they succeed!
They'll ruin your reputation!
They'll label you a flirt!
The way they talk about you
They'll turn your name to dirt”

The funny thing about boys (men too) is the ego is first. A lot of things said to get her “affection” have more to do with him than her. That being said, guys will lie either way, to get what they want or about what they didn’t get. If she does he’s giving exaggerated details, if she doesn’t he’s giving Shakesperean fiction.

“Isaac said he kissed you
Beneath the apple tree
When Benji held your hand he felt E-lec-tri-ci-tee!
When Alexander called you
He said he rang your chimes.
Christopher discovered
You're way ahead of your time!”

My point…ladies if you’re of age now, the rules still apply. Just as grown men can huddle around a video game for hours at 30 years old, we still hold on to some of our childhood behaviors. True we mature in many ways but our ego is still a recognized shot caller! That’s why it’s so important to distinguish the difference between the man that will EARN your attention vs. the boy who wants you to GIVE him you’re “affection”.

“S is for "Save it"
T is for "Take it slow"
O is for "Oh, no!"
P is for "Please, please, don't go!"

This moment is dedicate to the young ladies that easily learned their ABC’s but had to learn the hard way when it came to B-O-Y-S. Please understand that this song narrates the birth of a Side Chick & is the back story to “16 & Pregnant”. This is how you end up with 15 year old daughters letting all the little boys at school "know what that mouth do". Best case it’s Chapter 1 of “The Relationship Struggle Life Handbook”. Ladies it is so important that these little girls know that until they're of age to truly deal with a male and all that comes with it their vagina needs to be treated like a T bone steak and those little boys a pack of starving wolves. Just as you wouldn't tempt the wolves by dangling the steak in front of them, put a pad lock on the box.

Fathers raise those daughters. You're the first line of defense in the war on Ratchets & Bitchassness. Attention from you will curb a lot of that need for attention from them...and for you ladies trying to live the “Fast Life”…

Stop! The love and the struggle you save may be your own…

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