Wednesday, January 23, 2013

"I Factor"

“It could all be so simple, but you’d rather make it hard…” Lauryn Hill’s “Ex Factor” was the theme song to the plight of the dishearten. Two people that just couldn’t seem to get on the same page and make their troubled love work.

No matter how I think we grow
You always seem to let me know
It ain't workin'
And when I try to walk away
You'd hurt yourself to make me stay
This is crazy

How do two people so full of addictive energy reach this point? A flourishing unhealthy yet attractive environment. When two people are in that rare moment of inefficient emotion and impractical passion what does it take to fix it or finally end it?

I keep letting you back in
How can I explain myself
As painful as this thing has been
I just can't be with no one else
See I know what we got to do
You let go and I'll let go too
'Cause no one's hurt me more than you
And no one ever will

For most of us we may not be going through this “Romeo & Juliet” or maybe “Ike & Tina” kind of love thing but often we find ourselves faced with the choice between what we think and what we feel. When our emotional being can’t conceive deviating from the path that our logical mind doesn’t understand why we’re on in the first place. Struggling as we try to discern the difference between foolishness and fearlessness.

Sometimes we have to be logical and not give into emotional whims, but when do we know when to turn off the brain to be led by the heart…and if that‘s the right thing to do? Lauryn found herself pleading, refusing to let her heart take the “L”.

Care for me, care for me
I know you care for me
There for me, there for me
Said you'd be there for me
Cry for me, cry for me
You said you'd die for me
Give to me, give to me
Why won't you live for me

Sometimes it’s not in the what, but the why? Why are we so determined to make this painful process work?

Here’s the thing…

For many of us we’ll find ourselves on the outside looking in or scratching & clawing to hold on to situations or people that we feel we deserve and need to preserve. The problem, sometimes that circle won’t work into that square peg because it’s not supposed to. It never fits correctly because it doesn’t belong there. We don’t belong there. Even if it feels like we just need this “one thing” to be fixed or changed.

Yes, sometimes the situation does need just “one thing” and sometimes that “one thing” is us. Why we can’t seem to get our thoughts and passions, motives and actions to line up is because we’re not internally lined up. Lauryn was also correct in another song where she stated, “How you gonna win, when you ain’t right within?” If we remove the subject and just make it about us, our brain should be able to process the “pros” and our heart should be able to feel them without rationalization. That “Factor” is actually the equation. We have to “be good” to “do good” to “have good”. Knowing the difference between fulfillment and supplement. Where we’re looking for an addition not a completion. I do believe there is a level of love and passion that can’t be explained…however it also doesn’t have to be excused.

This moment is dedicated to the struggle we face within ourselves. Love & logic aren’t opposites and when we practice both on ourselves decisions often aren’t as complicated as we make them.

“It could all be so simple…”

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