Thursday, April 24, 2014

The Box Market


It’s hard out there…trying to gauge the marketplace; following trends, spending habits, figuring out what the people want…

No I’m not talking about the nation’s economy, the NASDAQ, or the Dow Jones, I’m talking about the state of another kind of economy. Once held up valuing more than diamonds and gold, and now? Now it’s depreciating quicker than Facebook stock. What are we talking about? Vagina!

Oh I could use one of it’s many “street” names, but we’ll keep it clean. Yes Vagina value has been plummeting something fierce! If it were on the New York Stock Exchange it would be somewhere between Kodak and FUBU!

Now I understand it’s a recession and ladies have got to make tough choices, but this is ridiculous. Women offering up box at rock bottom prices! Men are willing to buy high yet you ladies insist on selling low. Letting a man disrespect you, talk all kinds of crazy to you, cheat on you, live off of you and yet you still keep him around and serve up vagina on a silver platter! Tsk, Tsk.

Can we be honest? Ladies I understand that a lot of you feel like a “Good” man is nothing more than a fairytale your mother told you to keep you hopeful. So you hold on to that losing liability hoping that one day it will turn around and finally be worth something. Riding out that petty stock just praying for some kind of meager return. I get it. In the words of George Michael, “You gotta have faith!“ Fear not, good men are real! However, one of the traits of a good man is properly assessing real value. So if you’re out slangin’ vagina with a double coupon and placing no real value to it, he’s gonna keep it pushing and find a woman who knows her worth. Please know, he’ll still sleep with you, but that’s it. He’ll flip you like a Penny Stock and move on to a real investment.

I say this in love…

You women are effing up right now! I know some of you will say, “Where’s the man’s responsibility in this?” I’ll tell you…nowhere! Men don’t set the market value, men just pay it. Men only rise to the level of what’s necessary. Set the bar high, we aim high. Set it low… If you ladies want a bigger and better potential pool to fish from, it’s on you. The ball is in your court to round up and police these broads tainting the economy and messing up your bottom line! If you let these ratchets and hoes get a monopoly on acceptable vagina practices, you’re all going to suffer. You'll be done in by your own team like a bad case of insider trading. Don't let these chicks embezzle your joy!

Regulations, standards and good business practices are necessary to maintain a strong economy. Ladies it is imperative that you take an aggressive stance in reestablishing vaginal value. As men our egos shoot through the roof knowing we have a “high demand/low supply” woman. A woman that isn’t about “community box” and hasn’t let everyone know, “What Dat Mouf Do”. Placing standards and requirements for your time and affection only raises your stock. It let’s us know that not everyone can get it and it is something to be appreciated.

It’s going to take some work to maneuver out of this recession, to get back to strong bonds, good communication, trust and real love. It can happen. Ladies you possess the world’s greatest commodity…treat it as such. Doing the most for the least has never been good business so tighten it up. We don’t want the alternative…

Vagina with no value…

…that’s the Great Depression.

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